Mr Majeika Joins the Circus

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  MR MAJEIKA JOINS THE CIRCUS

  Humphrey Carpenter (1946–2005), the author and creator of Mr Majeika, was born and educated in Oxford. He went to a school called the Dragon School where exciting things often happened and there were some very odd teachers – you could even call it magical! He became a full-time writer in 1975 and was the author of many award-winning biographies. As well as the Mr Majeika titles, his children’s books also include Shakespeare Without the Boring Bits and More Shakespeare Without the Boring Bits. He wrote plays for radio and theatre and founded the children’s drama group The Mushy Pea Theatre Company. He played the tuba, double bass, bass saxophone and keyboard.

  Humphrey once said, The nice thing about being a writer is that you can make magic happen without learning tricks. Words are the only tricks you need. I can write: “He floated up to the ceiling, and a baby rabbit came out of his pocket, grew wings, and flew away.” And you will believe that it really happened! That’s magic, isn’t it?’

  Puffin books by Humphrey Carpenter

  MR MAJEIKA

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE DINNER LADY

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE GHOST TRAIN

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE HAUNTED HOTEL

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE LOST SPELL BOOK

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE MUSIC TEACHER

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE SCHOOL BOOK WEEK

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE SCHOOL CARETAKER

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE SCHOOL INSPECTOR

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE SCHOOL PLAY

  MR MAJEIKA AND THE SCHOOL TRIP

  MR MAJEIKA JOINS THE CIRCUS

  MR MAJEIKA ON THE INTERNET

  MR MAJEIKA VANISHES

  THE PUFFIN BOOK OF CLASSIC CHILDREN’S STORIES (Ed.)

  SHAKESPEARE WITHOUT THE BORING BITS

  MORE SHAKESPEARE WITHOUT THE BORING BITS

  HUMPHREY CARPENTER

  Mr Majeika Joins the Circus

  Illustrated by Frank Rodgers

  PUFFIN

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4P 2Y3

  (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

  Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)

  Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia

  (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)

  Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi – 110 017, India

  Penguin Group (NZ), cnr Airborne and Rosedale Roads, Albany, Auckland 1310, New Zealand

  (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  www.penguin.com

  First published 2006

  7

  Text copyright © Mari Prichard, 2006

  Illustrations copyright © Frank Rodgers, 2006

  All rights reserved

  The moral right of the author and illustrator has been asserted

  Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN: 978-0-14-193908-7

  With thanks to Gifford’s Circus for inspiring this book with brilliant acts which are NOT old or tired…

  To Ben, Ollie and Freddie for suggesting lots of it…

  And to Caitlin and Anna for making it even better.

  Contents

  1. Billy’s Not So Bold

  2. The Strongest Bigmore in the World

  3. Billy’s Going to Fall

  4. St Barty’s School Circus

  5. Mr Majeika Says No

  6. Two Jodys?

  7. Circus Magic

  8. Fly on the Wall

  9. I’m a Celebrity

  1. Billy’s Not So Bold

  Billy Balance was frightened.

  He knew there wasn’t a sensible reason to be frightened. But he couldn’t help it. His knees kept wobbling. And if they wobbled when he began to cross the rope, that would be it. He would fall.

  Billy Balance was a slack-rope walker. You probably don’t know what a slack-rope walker is. Maybe you think I’m making a mistake and really mean a tightrope walker. Well, a slack-rope walker is like a tightrope walker. Up to a point. Both of them walk across a rope, which is stretched from one side of a circus tent to the other. Except a tightrope is tight and firm to stand on, and a slack rope isn’t. It just hangs loosely across the tent, in a gentle curve, and you can’t imagine that anyone could ever walk across it.

  In fact there are very few people in the world who can. And one of them was Billy Balance. He didn’t just walk across it. He danced. When he reached the middle of the rope he would produce a violin from inside his coat. He would begin to play an Irish jig, a bouncy tune that soon had the audience clapping. He jumped up and down in time to the music. He waved his left leg, and then his right leg, so far in the air that you could see it was almost impossible to do that without falling off the rope. And he finished his act by jumping high, and then spinning round in mid-air.

  Nobody else in the entire world has ever done that. And the audience went wild.

  If you asked Billy how he did it, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. It was something he’d been taught when he was a tiny child. Maybe his teacher could do magic. Or maybe he was just very good at balancing. But whatever the explanation, Billy now had a different secret. He was losing his nerve.

  Last night he had nearly fallen off the rope. Not just at the end of his act when he was jumping and spinning, but from the very beginning of his act he had felt his feet slipping. It was as if the air itself was trying to pull him down. And that was very frightening, because the air had always been his friend.

  Perhaps it was because he was getting older, and had begun to wonder himself how he did his act. That was a mistake, like when you’re riding a bike. If you start to wonder why you’re not falling off, then falling off is probably what you will do.

  The bell rang, which marked the end of the interval. Outside the tent, the audience hurried to finish their ice creams and drinks and candy floss and hot dogs and crisps, and started to make their way back to their seats. The ringmaster, wearing his top hat, long red coat and riding trousers, went to get the audience to hurry up. In five minutes the music would begin, and that would be the sign for Billy to run into the circus ring and start making rude noises at the band.

  But Billy didn’t want to go out there again. He was more frightened than ever and he was sure he was going to fall. The actual fall probably wouldn’t hurt him too much – it wasn’t very far – but the shame would be terrible, and it would be the end of his work in the circus.

  Maybe he should run away. He opened a flap in the canvas, and peered out. If he was quick, he could make a dash for it. But no – there was a school party, dawdling on their way back to the tent. One of the boys was having an argument with the teacher. ‘Hamish,’ the teacher was saying, T have had enou
gh of you. And you know what happens when I get cross.’

  ‘Yah boo sucks,’ answered the boy cheekily. ‘You wouldn’t dare do magic here, Mr Majeika.’

  They passed Billy and went to their seats. The band started to play.

  And for Billy, it was time to begin.

  2. The Strongest Bigmore in the World

  Hamish Bigmore hadn’t wanted to go to the circus. ‘What’s the point of looking at a load of silly clowns who aren’t funny?’ he sneered. ‘And a lot of mangy old lions and tigers who wouldn’t hurt a flea?’

  Jody shook her head. ‘There won’t be any lions and tigers,’ she said. ‘Most circuses don’t have them any more. They don’t want people to say they’re cruel to animals. They have acrobats instead.’

  ‘That’s feeble,’ mocked Hamish Bigmore, who was the worst-behaved boy in Class Three. ‘Who wants to see stupid old acrobats?’

  ‘We do,’ said Thomas, who was one of the twins.

  ‘You bet we do,’ said Pete, who was the other one. ‘Look, Mr Majeika, we can do some real acrobat stunts!’ Pete bent over, and Thomas jumped up and stood on his back. At least, he tried to. But he was going too fast, and he shot over Pete’s back and crashed straight into Mr Potter, the head teacher, who was coming into the classroom.

  ‘I was just bringing your tickets for Tottle’s Circus, Mr Majeika,’ said Mr Potter, when he had picked himself up off the floor. They’re absolutely free,’ he went on. ‘Mr Tottle, who runs the circus, has had trouble getting people to go to it this week, so he’s giving away tickets to schoolchildren, in the hope that they will tell their friends how good the circus is, and then people will start going to it. I hope you enjoy the trip, everyone.’ And off he went.

  ‘Please will somebody explain to me exactly what a circus is?’ asked Mr Majeika, who had been a wizard before he became a teacher, and often didn’t understand things about the ordinary world.

  ‘Well,’ said Jody, ‘it’s people doing clever and difficult things, like riding a horse but standing up on its back, or flying through the air from one trapeze to another. Do you get the idea, Mr Majeika?’

  ‘I suppose so,’ said Mr Majeika doubtfully ‘But if these things are so difficult to do, why don’t people use magic?’

  ‘You remember, Mr Majeika!’ said Jody. ‘We don’t use magic in this world. And you’re not supposed to do any now that you’re a teacher and no longer a wizard.’

  ‘Oh yes. Silly me,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, Mr Majeika, it doesn’t matter, we don’t mind you doing magic at all,’ said Thomas.

  ‘We certainly don’t,’ said Pete. And they all set off for the circus – even Hamish Bigmore, though he was still grumbling a bit.

  It’s not surprising that Tottle’s Circus wasn’t selling lots of tickets. For years it had spent each summer touring round the whole country, and Mr Tottle was tired, and so were many of his performers.

  But when Class Three arrived at the field near St Barty’s School where the circus had pitched its tent, they were all very excited. Jody hurried off to look at the horses in their stable, and Thomas and Pete wanted to hear all about the acrobats and the clowns from the girl who was selling programmes. ‘The chief clown is called Scratchy,’ she told them. ‘He does a very funny act with an old suitcase and some silly hats,’

  But when the band began to play, and the performance started, it was all a bit disappointing. The first act was a tired old elephant, who wandered round the ring once or twice, before leaving the tent and going to sleep next to the caravans. After this came a dancing horse, except that it didn’t really dance; it just shuffled around the ring, hardly lifting up its hoofs. The woman who was looking after it was dressed in a faded costume, and she looked worn out and unwell. Jody, who had been looking forward to seeing beautiful horses dancing elegantly, was very disappointed – she could see that the horse looked as unhappy as the woman.

  Then came Scratchy the Clown. He tried to do funny things with his suitcase, and the various hats he pulled out of it, but none of Class Three laughed. T could do better than that,’ Pete muttered to Hamish Bigmore.

  ‘So could 1,’ said Hamish, and when Scratchy took his bow, Hamish actually booed.

  ‘Hamish!’ said Jody, very shocked. ‘How can you be so horrible to him?’

  Hamish gave a nasty laugh. ‘He’s hopeless. And I reckon the next act will be even worse.’ He pointed at his programme. ‘It’s a strong man.’

  Mr Tottle cracked his whip and announced through the microphone: ‘My lords, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Tottle’s Circus is proud to present, all the way from Russia, Ivan the Terrible!’

  The band played some sinister Russian-style music, a curtain sprang open, and into the ring stepped the strongest-looking man Class Three had ever seen. He had arms as thick as tree trunks, and his whole body looked as if he were made of massive muscles. He bowed to the audience, swung his arms for a moment, and then bent down and slowly picked up an iron bar with enormous weights at each end.

  The audience clapped – all except Hamish Bigmore. ‘He’s a fake,’ Hamish muttered to Jody and, before she could stop him, Hamish had got up from his seat and walked into the circus ring. ‘My lords, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,’ he said into the microphone, copying Mr Tottle, ‘you may think you’ve been watching the strongest man in the world, but now you’re going to see the strongest Bigmore in the world! Look!’ And he bent down and picked up the huge iron bar with just one hand.

  It wasn’t iron at all. Ivan the Terrible was beginning to get old and tired, like so many of the performers in Tottle’s Circus, and the bar was made of something much lighter than iron – wood and plastic. It weighed next to nothing.

  When he saw that Hamish had guessed his secret, Ivan gave a terrible roar and began to chase Hamish round the circus ring. The trouble was, Ivan got out of breath very quickly. He stopped for a moment – and Hamish grabbed the fake iron bar, and used it to wallop Ivan on the bottom.

  Ivan roared again and chased Hamish out of the tent and away into the distance.

  The rest of Class Three were delighted with the unexpected finale to the otherwise dull first half. But then, after the interval, came Billy Balance.

  3. Billy’s Going to Fall

  It was Billy’s job to open the second half of the show. He came on looking very smart, in a top hat, a white tie, and a black tailcoat and trousers. The band was playing, and he made a few jokes about the musicians, pretending to annoy them. This made them put down their instruments and chase him round the circus ring.

  There was a ladder that led to a wooden perch at one end of the slack rope, and Billy ran up it to get away from the musicians. One of them started to climb after him. At this point Billy was supposed to go out on to the rope to escape. The musician would stop chasing and stare as Billy stepped on the rope. Billy would then pretend to be frightened, go wobbly, and look as if he were just about to fall off. But then he would suddenly save himself and make it look easy and funny and magical.

  Billy began his act in the usual way, but he was shaking like a leaf all the time, and anyone who knew him could see that he wasn’t pretending to be wobbly. It was real, and it would be a matter of seconds before he fell off.

  If he fell off, the shame and embarrassment would be terrible. However bad things got at Tottle’s, no one had ever given up their act halfway through. The circus rule was never to stop, and never to let the smile slip from your face for even a moment.

  The rope swayed from side to side, and Billy tried to do what had always been second nature to him – just lean the right way, very quickly, to stay balanced. But his feet were all over the place, and his arms were waving wildly, as if he were trying to find things to hold on to.

  He hadn’t taken out his violin; it would be more than enough if he could just walk across the rope without disaster. He waved his hat. He tried to keep smiling, then…

  Whoops! There he went at last – he’d finally missed his
footing and was falling.

  Oh no, he wasn’t! He had started to fall, but some sort of giant invisible hand seemed to scoop him up and put him back on the slack rope.

  And then it picked him up again, bouncing him along the rope as if he were a puppet and making him dance and jump and spin; it even made him give a bow to the audience when he reached the far end.

  Everyone went wild. Even people who had been to circuses lots and lots of times had never seen anything like it in their lives.

  ‘Hooray!’ shouted Thomas and Pete, at the tops of their voices, as Billy Balance took a bow, looking as surprised as everyone else.

  Only Jody was silent. She looked at Mr Majeika. He was clapping, but he looked rather tired, as if he had been doing a difficult spell.

  ‘Mr Majeika,’ Jody said, ‘were you doing some magic just then?’

  Mr Majeika smiled. ‘Let’s just say I gave him a little help,’ he said. And he put his finger on his lips, meaning that she shouldn’t say anything about it to anyone.

  4. St Barry’s School Circus

  When Mr Majeika took Class Three back to school they were all very happy and talking about Billy’s amazing performance.

  So was Mr Tottle. The next morning he called Billy Balance into the ringmaster’s caravan, and patted him on the back. ‘Well done, lad,’ he said. ‘One moment I thought you were going to take a tumble. Next thing, you were zooming around like a space-rocket. How did you do it, then? No, I won’t ask you that –I’ve learnt never to ask circus folk how they do their acts. It’s your secret. But make sure you do it at every performance. Don’t forget! I’ll be watching.’